Writing Polite Emails

Sometimes we want to be direct and brief in our emails (giving status updates, summarizing meeting minutes, describing technical issues, etc.). Other times, we want to be polite and indirect. The chart below provides examples of situations in which we normally write in an indirect, polite way.

1.                 Simple Requests

When? (the reader has an obligation to comply with your request). Asking an employee or coworker to do something that he/she normally handles.

How? Could/can you …please?
Would you mind…?

Note. “Would you mind “ is a bit more polite than “can/could you…?” Also, “could” is a little more polite than “can.” Remember that “mind” is followed by the gerund (ing). For example, “Would you mind taking to take a look at this.”

2.                 Favors and Big Requests

When?  (the reader does not have an obligation to comply with your request). Getting help with something that you normally handle yourself
“Special” requests

How? I was hoping you could…
I was wondering if you could…
Note. Favors and big requests require “softer” language. One way to make language softer is by using past tenses (“I was hoping,” “I was wondering,” “I wanted to,” etc.) Another way we make language softer is by using modals (“might,” “could,” etc.).

3.                 Permission

 

When? Vacation requests, Time off requests, Borrowing something

How? I was hoping I could…
I was wondering if I could…
Would it be okay if I…?
Do you think I might be able to…?

Note. Just like with favors and big requests, we use softer language to ask for permission (past tenses, modals, etc.)

4.                 Suggestions 

When? Offering your point of view
Suggesting a better way of doing something

How? What about if…?
Maybe we could…?
I thought it might be a good idea to…

Note. Using these expressions sounds more polite than “Well, I think we need to…”

5.                 Rejecting/Refusing/Declining

When? Rejecting offers, suggestions,
proposals/ideas

How? I’m not sure that…
I don’t know if…

Note. Using tentative language like “I’m not sure that…,” and “I don’t know if” sounds more polite than “that won’t work.”

6.                 Pointing out a Mistake

When? Billing mistake

How? It looks like…
It seems…

Note. These introductory statements help to make the message softer.

7.                 Checking on the Status of Something

When? Finding out if something is finished
Gently reminding someone that you need something they are working on

How? Have you had a chance to finish/work on…?

Note. “Have you had a chance to finish/work on…” is much more polite than “Are you finished yet?” or “Is it ready yet?”

Summary: Language we use to sound more polite.

Modals	Might, can, could, would
Distancing phrases (not using the present tense)	I was hoping…, I was wondering…, I wanted to…
Tentative language	Maybe…, Perhaps…, I’m not sure if…, I don’t know if…, might
Introductory phrases	It looks like…, It seems like…, Actually…,To be honest…Well…, I see what you’re saying (but…),
Positive language (avoiding negative expressions like “bad,” “won’t work,” “ineffective,” etc.)	It might not be the best approach (NOT “it’s a bad approach”).